How can we support our children in their development from the very beginning to ensure that they build resilience and can successfully deal with the challenging situations and stresses life throws at us? Resilience or a thick skin aren’t traits you’re born with – they’re characteristics that can be learned and nurtured.
As parents and carers, we’re presented with a whole host of ways in which we can fuel our children's sense of resilience from the get-go: The most important foundation is a positive, supportive relationship with your child, as children need to feel that you have a genuine interest in them, enjoy their company and foster a mutual feeling of trust.
The most essential factor in our children's learning is our own behaviour – as parents, this isn’t always music to our ears, but there’s just no getting away from it! Since small children learn by observing the world around them, the way you act and behave really is crucial – and this doesn't just apply to encouraging resilience! By using words to express what you’re experiencing, feeling and doing, you can help your child to broaden their vocabulary and teach them to copy you. Or, why not delve into how you cope with emotions, problems and obstacles to consciously mould your status as a role model?
Think about the following five key topics to set your child on the right path with all the tools they need to overcome challenges and setbacks and strengthen their resilience:
1. Sensing, recognising, addressing and constructively dealing with emotions
Address and explain your feelings in your day-to-day life and show your children how you manage to overcome feelings of anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, anxiety or rage, for example by using a punchbag, deep breathing, painting, counting to five, listening to music, reading a book, etc. – there are plenty of ways you can set an example for even young children. Be honest with your children and don’t deny your emotions – explain them! Monitor your child’s emotions and any changes in their mood, help them to address these factors, ask them directly how they're feeling and support them in overcoming these feelings. And, don’t forget that joy, happiness, love, etc. are important emotions that also need to be recognised, addressed and shared!
2. Conveying a positive sense of self-worth
Always praise your child’s behaviour and not their inherent personality. The same principle applies to criticism, which also needs to relate to a behaviour, as how we choose to act is something we can adjust and this signals to your child that they have the power to make changes. In order for your child to develop a positive sense of self-worth, it’s important that you convey to them that they have strengths and are capable of doing good things, and that you won’t value them any less based on their accomplishments or weaknesses. Make it clear to your child that there's not a single person in the world who can do everything, and that this too is perfectly fine. Helping your child to see themselves in a positive yet realistic light will ultimately stand them in good stead.
3. Giving your child a sense of responsibility and trust
Give your child a few small jobs that they’d be happy to help you out with. Setting the table, collecting the post from the letterbox, sweeping the floor with a small broom, tidying their room, etc. You can even encourage your youngster to make decisions – carrots or cucumber for lunch? Red or white sweater? Which route shall we take to the playground? Which storybook shall we look at together? This shows your child that they can do something, that you trust them and that they can make a difference. Experience of self-efficacy is a key foundation for resilience.
“I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” Pippi Longstocking.
4. Solving problems together
Don’t do everything for your child or solve their problems before they’ve even realised that anything is wrong. Whenever you can, give them the opportunity to seek out solutions independently and support them throughout this process by asking questions, offering encouragement and providing assistance. This shows your child that they can do something, that you trust them and that problems can usually be solved. The feeling of having solved a problem on their own gives them the courage and confidence to continue on this path.
5. Developing coping strategies
Take advantage of quiet moments to reflect on experiences and events with your child. Ask questions such as – what did you really enjoy today and what wasn’t so great? Why? How did you feel in those moments? What did you pick up on? What could you have done differently? What would you have found helpful? Questions like this can help your child to establish a sense of self-awareness and give them the opportunity to learn and develop new strategies for approaching similar situations.
Young children, in particular, also respond very well to picture books and stories. Talk to your child about the feelings and actions of the main characters, think about what the main character can do to overcome the next obstacle they face, what they are already doing well and what they are yet to learn.
Strong right from the start is our motto at the kids & co daycare centres! Our caregivers embody this spirit and other principles of togetherness, are attentive and encourage your child to explore their independence – from serving themselves with food to the general activities that form part of day-to-day life at the daycare centre. You’re welcome to stop by at any time.
Would you like to register for one of the sought-after places in our kids & co daycare centres? You can enquire about a place here with no obligation on your part.
