Children do not like change. So parents inevitably ’do not like change either. Is this goodbye to spontaneity? Not at all. There are ways and means of gently getting your offspring accustomed to changes. After all, life is full of them, so ’it’s good to start practising early. The first important change takes place when children get their first childcare spot and have to cope with the first transition.
Transitions cause significant restructuring of previous daily routines. Transition phases are often perceived very emotionally by all those involved, accompanied by many expectations, hopes and anticipation, but also by uncertainties and fears of the unknown.
Settling a child into a new environment can be a challenge both for parents and child. Whether the child is starting at a day care centre or kindergarten, moving to a new city or switching to a new school, not everyone finds it easy to deal with such changes. The good news, however, is that we can do some preparatory work so that such transitions can be managed as well as possible.
Parents can first deal with the change themselves and with how they feel about it. If parents are sure of themselves and are aware of their own feelings and sensitivities, they can support their children much better and conveya feeling of safety and security. This is the first important preparatory step!
The self-analysis is then followed by a look at the child’s situation. The child’s stage of development, their skills, and their abilities to adapt to new situations form the starting point for shaping the relevant transition process. Address these questions: How will my child react to the change? What might he or she struggle with and what might make him or her feel secure? How do we prepare them for the situation? Depending on the child’s age, picture books, stories, walking past the new place, telling them how one has already coped with a similar situation oneself, and revisiting situations that the child has already coped with well are suitable approaches. Communicate a realistic but positive impression of the upcoming situation.
After the change has been discussed and prepared, you can visit the new places. Together with parents or guardians, visit the actual rooms or surroundings in person, introduce new caregivers, let children get to know each other, etc.
“Visiting” is an initial “getting-to-know” session, developing a feeling and observing. Some children snuggle close to their parents - they don’t want to let go of their hand and just observe. Others quickly detach themselves and want get stuck right into playing and discovering the surroundings. All these responses are fine; the important thing is that the parents and new caregivers respond to the child’s needs and do not push them into anything, remaining there as a safe “anchor”.
In a day care centre, a child might look at the rooms and toys, discover something great and start playing with it.
Consult with the caregivers specifically on how the settling-in should be structured. Whilst the acclimatisation in day care centres is structured according to a specific model or scheme and usually lasts about two weeks, when a child enters kindergarten only the first day is planned as “acclimatisation”. After that, the parents may still take children to school, but will no longer stay in the classroom. Following the visit, there is often now some time left to prepare the child for the new situation. With an infant who is new to daycare, parents document sleeping habits, eating rhythms and special needs so that they can then explain these effectively to the caregivers. Parents with older children can also include their experience, work out what they are looking forward to, and focus on positive coping.
When the acclimatisation day - the transition to something new - starts, it is important to bring the right “stuff” so that the child is prepared. This may be the right clothes for the forest playgroup, milk powder or breast milk for the daycare acclimatisation, or perhaps a cuddly toy or stuffed animal for support. Parents are involved in the accilmatisation phase, they accompany the child, talk to the caregivers in situ, tell them about the child’s needs and special characteristics. The younger the child, the more information the caregivers need. Older children often like to talk about themselves, or do not even want to be there during the “chat”, but want to play with the group. It is important for all children to come into contact with other children and caregivers – both can have a positive effect on integration and strengthen the feeling of belonging. During this transition period, pay attention to your child’s signals and behaviour and seek support options together if the child needs them. Children are very different. Some need more time than others or even more support. It is important to understand that a child’s settling-in is a process that requires time, patience and attention.
Children usually experience their first transition when they enter childcare outside the home. From an attachment theory perspective, the settling-in of a child in a day care centre is a decisive moment for the child, the parents, the group of children and for the staff. As a parent, however, you can pay attention to a few things in order to make your child’s acclimatisation to the day care centre as smooth and pleasant as possible:
With patience, empathy and good communication, children, parents and caregivers usually cope with the settling-in process well - at different paces, of course!
In the kids & co day care centres, we follow the Berlin Model for settling in, i.e. a two-week, gradual settling-in phase is planned. The plan is then implemented according to the child’s needs. Together with the parents, the plan is adapted so that everyone can build up the necessary trust and the acclimatisation is as easy as possible.
It is important that parents are aware that even after the two-week settling-in period the settling-in phase continues for a few weeks. Children often only really settle in after 1-2 months, so good communication between caregivers and parents remains very important.
Of course, it is easier for a child to settle in if he or she is at the new place for more than half a day per week. For toddlers in particular, a week is a very long period of time and therefore it is easier for them to settle in if they are allowed to experience the day-to-day life at the day care centre at least twice a week. Educators from profawo therefore recommend to parents that their child start by spending at least 40% of the week at the day care centre.